Epic Rap Battles of Ozian History
by Cynthia Krenshaw
Summary: Because I just saw ERBOH season 2, and couldn't get out of my head. LOL
1. Galinda Vs Elphaba

Galinda Versus Elphaba - BEGIN!

"Come on, I eat my veggies, why she room me with a green bean. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean. The room was supposed to be private. and now I'm sharing with the green giant's offspring. Ho, ho, ho, Munchkinland, that's where you're from? You look like they shit you out of a tree stump. No wonder your dad's embarrassed, I would be too. How did his seed turn out a disgrace like you"

"It's a good thing you're not trying, because your rips are an Epic Fail. Oh, look, the battle's over, Shiz mall has a shoe sale. The best you have is I'm green giant's offspring? Hmmm, why does that have a familiar ring. I've heard it all before, since elementary school, in fact. I'd have thought with all that breeding you knew how to act. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since it's clear you got here on a free ride. Blonde beautiful and perfect in pink, too bad popsicle has to carry your ass because you don't bother to think. Come back and see me when you have some real rhymes. Excuse me, it's my library time."

Who won? Who's next, You decide!

**AN: No, really, you do. :) I'll do it with any character combo I know of, if you have any you're dying to see. :)**


	2. Shiz Era Fiyero vs Headmistress Morrible

Shiz Era Fiyero Vs Shiz Madame Morrible, Begin!

Morrible

Oh, look, the winkie prince appears/No rush girls, as stupid as he is he'll be here another eight years/It's a good thing your momma and I have tea/because your entrance exam scores belong at the bottom of the sea/And another thing, take off those pants/I don't need the parents having rants/they're so tight, your junk is showin/and from the looks of it, it still needs some growing.

Fiyero

Who are you? Oh, that's right, the fish/Mom only befriended you so she could get her college wish/I might be as stupid as you say/but even I know that you're eyes aren't supposed to bug out that way/Your momma have sex with a guppy?/It's all I can think of to explain why you're so scuzzy/Is my junk that entertaining, or is it the first you've seen?/Hell, the girl behind you looks better, and she's green/Ask the blonde for make up tips/I don't think the lipstick is supposed to weigh down your lips/and one more thing, get rid of that wig/It's looks heavier than my Rickshaw rig.

Who won? Who's Next, you decide!

OOC: Cliffy/Maddie, this one's for you! I'm working on putting up one or two a day based on your recommendations and in order of reviews so I don't miss anyone! :) Glad you guys are liking this!


	3. Captain Fiyero Vs The Wizard

Captain of the guard Fiyero Vs The Wizard

Begin

"Mr. Wizard, where do I begin/We'd have been better if you'd stuck your ass to Nickelodeon/Changing Oz for the better? Please/Without guards like me you'd be down on your hands and knees/Now I know why Elphaba scares you/She's got a BS detector and won't stop till you're through/you're worthless and I believe/you didn't get here by accident, Kan Sas told your ass to leave."

"Does Morrible know the difference between a guard and a turd/She reccommended you, so much for her word/and Kansas didn't ask me to leave/I owned it, just like I own you watch and see/Prince of the vinkus, captain of my guard/If you had half a brain, you'd know I can crush you like glass shards/But don't worry, I can give you a brain/It's the streak of yellow down your back that's gonna leave a stain."

Who won? Who's next! You decide!

AN: This was another request from Queen of the Cliffies! Hey, she's a queen, gotta snap to, right? :)


	4. Shiz Era Nessa Vs Shiz Era Boq

Shiz Era Nessa Vs Boq

"We're meant to be, Boqie don't you see/In my chair, you're almost as tall as me/We're going to have a love the unnamed God can't deny/and if he trys, I'll spit in his eye/You and me, Boqie/all the way to marriage/I can't wait to have our baby in her special carriage."

"Oh, no/I don't think so/I'm in love with Galinda Upland, I thought you knew/Trust me, when she comes calling, we're through/You were right at the ball, but it wasn't the chair/I asked you because Galinda told me to, so no one would stare/Then she showed up with the brainless wonder/made me asked why I even bothered/I'd rather date your sister/and I don't want her, either." As Nessa begins crying, Elphaba walks in. A look of abject fear crosses his face, as she takes the mic from Nessa.

"What did you say, midget/Galinda doesn't want you to fidgit/be a man and own your hit/It's not my sister's fault you're too short to get it/Nessa, why are you waiting on this little prick/Rule number one of dating a man, make sure he actually has a stick/Boq your shoe size says it all/for my sister to find it, she would have to crawl/Maybe she could see it in Dillimond's lab/underneath the microscope with the other scabs/Come on Nessa, let's go home/The thropps stand united, even when we roam."

AN: For Invisible Inkblood! :)


	5. Act 2 Fiyero Vs Act Two Boq

Act two Fiyero Vs. Act Two Boq

"Look at you, winkie, you have it all/Glinda Upland's heart, a good job, and a ball/All that and you still don't see/Glinda was supposed to be with me/It's your fault I'm chained/to a woman in Munchkinland with a girl with almost no brain/All the time Glinda pines for you/I'm stuck in Munchkinland with jeweled shoes"

"Quit complaining, little man, it could be worse/at least your engagement wasn't forced/If you want Glinda so bad you can have her/I love her like a sister/If I had my way/I'd be with Fae/and not stuck on the bench/You want Glinda, come get the wench."

An: For Zelda Rules :)


	6. Fanfiction Averic Vs Fanifiction Fiyero

AN: THis is for Elphaba WWW. Check out her Roleplaying site at wickedroleplaying dot weebly dot com I swear, it is the best kind of distraction known to Earth or Oz! LOL

Fanfiction Fiyero Vs Fanfiction Averic

BEGIN

"Dude, I don't get it/all you did was pull my cart and never even said it/How do these people think you'll get Fae/Even in the play, you barely got a line to say/Either that or you're the fill in/Half the time you're a jerk and the other you're evil as sin/You're a womanizing troll with half a brain/but some have me listening to you, which means I'm insane/And let me say for the record you're fired/Hitting a green girl with a cart isn't desirable in a driver."

"For the record? Do you know what that is/Pretty big phrase from the playboy of Shiz/You're just pissed I'm cutting into your action/Me and Fae even have our own faction/Admit it, son, you're just stuck/I got the looks, the brains, and the car, tough luck/I may get crap for almost hitting her/but even then they can see us together/I might be evil and insane/but I'm battling an unarmed opponant, do you even have a brain?

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!


End file.
